It’s a funny thing.
You get asked to do something awesome like taking pictures for a well-known web magazine, and you’re on top of the world. This is so.totally.cool.
Forty-eight hours and three meltdowns later, you’ve dumped all your self-confidence into ten casseroles. More accurately, ten photos. Ten. Stinkin. JPEGs.
And then comes the obsessive online searching. Are they there yet? They’re not there yet. Why aren’t they there yet?
And then – whoa – they’re there.
Wait, what? They’re there! Those are my photos?!
And suddenly, something weird happens. Instead of feeling proud and excited, you feel scared and nervous and disappointed, like they aren’t your best, and what if people don’t like them, and what if they’re not really that good anyways, and what if you never get asked to do anything like this again, and what will people say about you, and, and…
There are a lot of things that I learned from my experience last weekend. One of those things is that negative, obsessive, fearful, and unproductive thinking is totally real.
And it’s totally me.
It actually has a name. It’s called the Lizard Brain. Have you heard of it? On his blog, Seth Godin says “Your lizard brain is here to stay, and your job is to figure out how to quiet it and ignore it.”
{deepbreath} That’s seriously hard.
But guess what? An anxious, negative mindset is not n-o-t NOT going to help do a better job next time. It’s just not. And I do want to do things better, so it’s time to get over it.
I wanted to share this on my blog because I think we all feel this way, no matter where we are at with cooking, photography, blogging, or just life. We all have a Lizard Brain that says, I don’t have enough Facebook likes, and my photos aren’t as good as so-and-so, and I hardly have any followers, and this is never going to work, and, and…
and… stop that.
I’m challenging myself to be proud of what I’m doing, not fixate on the small things that I wish I would have done differently, and be ready to take on the next challenge. Even if it’s ten casseroles! Oiy, maybe it’s too soon for that one.
Thanks for letting me unpack this whole thing with you. I’d love to hear about your thoughts, experiences, or strategies related to that ol’ Lizard Brain!
Let’s take this thing down together.
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I love how honest you are in this post – it is so easy to spend time comparing ourselves to others especially when there are so many metrics that we feel like we can be judged on. It’s all very well to tell yourself you’re just doing it for fun and so long as you’re enjoying it that’s all that matters but there are always those moments where the self-doubt creeps in and you feel like giving up. It can be really hard to ignore them and move forward. My strategy is normally to go and do the thing that I’m struggling with (whether cooking, photographyy, blogging, work, whatever) because once I’m in that moment, I find it easier to shake the doubts and it reminds me why I do it.
But you should be so proud of yourself! I love the photos – what I really like is that you always make the food the star and whatever you make always looks so appetising. I really like the sausage and clam casserole picture, just beautiful!
Ughh, the comparison game is so ridiculously hard to get out of. And I think you’re right – getting into it and actually doing what you’re feeling insecure about is what helps you shake off some of that self-doubt. Thanks for the comment Kathryn – have a great weekend!
Also, I apologise for using the word ‘metrics’. That kind of language has no place outside the office. Have a great weekend too!
LOL! That’s the lizard brain making you apologize, you know.
Just kidding – I loved that you used that and I love this comment even more.
Thank you for being so honest, Lindsay – it’s somehow reassuring to know that other people doubt themselves too sometimes.
For what it’s worth… I love love love your photos – I think that they are absolutely amazing. My favourite is the blue crab gratin – it looks so appetizing. And I love how you’ve stacked it on two plates – great touch.
You did an amazing job. I can’t believe you even doubt yourself for a second. But to doubt, to second guess, it’s human nature. Or at least it’s most of our nature’s. People that don’t second-guess themselves from time to time are a rarity! We all do it, I think.
As you said, our job is to overcome it and not let that kind of thinking stand in the way of living life, and accomplishing more. Awesome post, awesome pics…Can’t wait to see where this all leads you!
Hurray! Oh my! Your photos look absolutely lovely. Hopefully next time you’ll feel a bit more confident. You’re AWESOME!
Just yesterday someone on facebook posted this; “What other people think of you is their problem.” I wish it was easier to believe that on a consistent basis, but it’s true. I don’t know if you do the church thing, but if you do, consider the fact that you were created in the image of the creator of the whole everything. Hand crafted. Think about how much time you spend hand crafting something; the agony and care that goes into it. And you’re His crowning achievement. The flip side is the evil one, who strives at all cost to make you feel like you’re less than that. He is the one that puts doubt and a host of other negative thoughts in our heads, taking us away from what we are. I think you’re a marvel. Your gifted as a cook, a photographer and a wordsmith.
So true – thanks for including this. Reading my Bible/praying is one of those thing that helps me get a grip on what’s really important in this life.
So true. I think we all do it. The photos look great, but the real question is which of these casseroles was your favorite?
Oh good question! I meant to include it in the post but obviously I forgot! I would have to say the Duck Confit Casserole (but you can substitute chicken for the duck, which is what I did). It’s like a garlicy bean-y stew with bacon, kielbasa and chicken, but then it’s baked into a casserole. I also loved the buffalo fried chicken (on the mac and cheese recipe). SO good. Dipped in heavy cream, corn flakes, and deep fried?? Yeah. So good.
Thanks for your honesty… and I love the idea of the Lizard Brain!! Well, I love KNOWING about the idea!
Have you ever read any of Seth Godin’s books? I feel like you would like them!
OMG, you are a ROCKSTAR. The pictures looks fantastic and I love that they all have their own feel to them. It doesn’t look like they came from the same kitchen in one food fueled weekend.
I gotta ask – HOW in the heck did you find all those specialty ingredients (like the raclette for the butcher’s pie). I imagine your refrigerator was bursting!
And as for the Lizard Brain, you’re preaching to the choir on that one. Ugh and ugh.
Glad to hear I’m not alone in trying to get past that stinky little lizard brain! As for the ingredients…yeah, our refrigerator is still bursting at the seams. We had to call people to come and pick up food because literally we didn’t have enough room for all the food in the fridge. My cheese drawer is so full that it barely opens. Which is seriously awesome.
holy shizzzzz girl! that is amazing!!!! and for the record, i love them all. congrats!
Girl, I hear ya! But seriously, shooting for BA? HUGE. Nice. freaking. job.
Be proud!!
Holy cow Lindsay! This is the coolest thing ever. Congrats! Too bad that Bon Appetit *only* listed you as photographer when you were cook and stylist as well
If the whole teaching thing doesn’t work out, this looks pretty great on your resume…
And, on lizard brain, I think that blogging is the best way to train yourself to control it – so many opportunities to practice!
Lindsay, this is so awesome! What an honor
We are so excited for you! And yes, Lizard Brain is alive and well in us too – thanks for bringing it to light 
The photos look awesome – what an intense project!
Lindsay,
I was at fun brunch yesterday with your mom and she told me your pictures had been posted. They are awesome and I am so very happy for you! What an honor! Thanks for using you abilities and creativity for all of us to enjoy.
barb H.
PS…I don’t know about “lizard brain” but I do know that Satan loves to trip us up in our thinking and wants us to compare ourselves to others. He’s a mean and sneaky one! Glad you’re resisting him:)
Wow! Just looked at the pictures and they are gorgeous! You did an amazing job and should be super proud of yourself!
I was looking at that slideshow yesterday- everything looks great!!!!
Just wanted to chime in and say that the photos look fantastic! I can imagine how stressful it was trying to get just the right shot in such a limited time frame!
It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others….I’m sure we all do it. Which is why it’s always so important to be “yourself”. If people dig it…wonderful! If not, they can move on (painful as that feels at times). At least you know you’re being you!
Which, by the way, is pretty awesome. You have a knack for this food blog thing for sure:-)
1. Awesome post. I think anyone (especially any bloggers) could use this kind of reminder.
2. Those pictures are amazing. They make me want to dive into each and every casserole.
3. You’re one of my photography idols.
Lindsay, they are amazing!! So proud of you!!
Love Seth Godin – I was fortunate to see him speak once at Best Buy Corporate – thank you for such an important reminder. I have those thoughts frequently and I doubt they are helping anything!
Hey, Lindsay!
You did a great job and the pictures look great!! Couldn’t be more proud of you!
mom
Your photos are absolutely lovely! You have no reason to question yourself about your photography, but we all insist on doing those things and torturing ourselves.
Oh man. My lizard brain looooves to tell me I stink at things. My job. Being a good girlfriend. Pushing myself fitness-wise. And let’s not even get started on that pesky blog stuff.
I love posts like these when we can all remind each other that it doesn’t have to be that way–that we all know how awesome all of our fellow bloggers are, and we can totally be there to remind them when they and their lizard brains forget. And maybe then the lizard brain will eventually shaddup.
Oh, Lindsay–they look gooooorgeous!!! Congratulations!
Um. Wow. I have major lizard brain right now. For the whole past week, maybe even two weeks I’ve been letting it slow me down and stop me from getting into the kitchen as much as I want to. Thank you for being so honest
I think your pictures look fantastic! You should be so proud! I’m constantly impressed with your pictures on the blog, and these ones are no different. Especially the Butcher’s Pie, the colors are perfect – the picture just jumped out at me.
wow! i’m so impressed! you’re incredibly talented- at photography, cooking, and writing. this post totally shows it. have a great weekend–you deserve it!
The pictures are amazing, you have such an amazing talent for food photography, and you’re awesome
Now GO AWAY LIZARD BRAIN!
Love this post, and as always, love your general attitude toward having a food site. I agree with your words completely. Maybe food blogging just attracts a bunch of neurotic people
I know when I had to take some time off blogging for morning sickness reasons I freaked out for a good week or so about not posting, wondering if people would ever forgive me, wondering if I’d be able to get back to it, etc, before I finally just got some perpective and started to enjoy my little break. I’m hoping to keep that perspective, but I can tell I’m already starting to be hard on myself. Thanks for your post to remind me that I’m not the only one like this.
What a great post! Congrats on the pictures, they are stunning! We all second guess ourselves, and it is good to know that even you (with your gorgeous pictures) are human!
That is so true! I struggle with self-sabotage in EVERYTHING! In fact, I annoy myself. I realized one day recently that focusing on things like wishing I looked better or had better this or did better this was sinful thinking. I was making idols of worldly things because I was so focused on how I compared to others that I was not as focused on God. Even though I know those things, it is still a constant struggle. I like the idea of lizard brain though. I’ve never heard of Seth Godin, but his blog looked interesting. What books have you ready of his? I’d be interested in looking into them…like I need to add another book to my already too long book list!
You should be extremely proud. Your photos are beautiful BEAUTIFUL!!! Job well done.
I do that alll the time Lindsay! But I’m so excited for you! Those photos are glorious!! Be proud… and own it GIRRRRL! Xo
Your photos look fabulous. I know you can’t help but be your own worst critic; but seriously, the photos look fabulous!
Your photos are gorgeous! Job well done. And I can’t believe you had to make all the food too!!!
Your photos look amazing, congrats! I think we all have that feeling of up and down around self-doubt and excitement.
Your photos are beautiful, Lindsay!!! Wow!! You make everything look so delicious!
I can’t imagine making all 10 of these casseroles in one weekend! You must have been exhausted!!
Lind-SAY! You are amazing, congrats on this and your pictures are gorgeous as ever!
I need to bookmark this post and read it weekly. I get down on myself all of the time – comparing myself to other bloggers and thinking that I don’t measure up. Thank you for being so open and honest!! (Oh, and BTW – I think you are absolutely amazing!!)
This is just what I needed to hear today! I’ve been struggling with this too. Anything i do is never good enough. I need to remember that I’m doing this because its supposed to be fun and if its not, then I need to step back and refocus on why it is.
First thing I did the other morning was to check twitter. Saw your post. Looked at your pictures. Couldn’t believe my eyes. They were beautiful! Stunning.
But I hear ya, Lindsay…I once heard that comparison robs us of contentment. I think I better take this one to the bank.
So true. Comparison is a dangerous game… and I’m trying not to play that one! Thanks for the comment Soo!
The pictures are great! I guess we are always are our worst critics. Keep taking food pics!
Oh, I don’t know if I can really offer advice on this. I just agree. I have anxiety with almost every post, but I knew going into it that this would happen. It’s been a part of me always – with my paintings, photographs, anything I write that I know many people will be reading, but it’s all OK with me, because I know I am growing with each new photograph and post. Until recently I was tempted to cater my photography only to what I thought Foodgawker and Tastespotting wanted – so I could have more recipes featured, but I decided, that’s not me. I will shoot my photos how I like them, keeping in mind the techniques I am learning – that way I won’t loose the “me” in the photos. I’m still tempted to try to please only them, and I still obsess – I just obsess a little less. I have been surprised by a couple submissions they have accepted because they were, what I would consider, far out of their norm. I am trying not to concern myself with whether or not they “like” me – it’s starting to work. I have been very pleasantly surprised by how many people are choosing to follow my blog. For that, I am just grateful
And I’m also grateful to the experienced bloggers who have been willing to take some time and point me in the right direction. 
See? like right now. Racing heart, cringing at the length of that reply. . .
Lol… You’re hilarious. I’m so glad you’ve been able to let go of the perceived “perfect” shot that you think others might be looking for and follow your artistic instincts with confidence!
LOL! You crack me up! K, I just looked at the pictures and they are all amazing and beautiful! I wouldn’t want to eat most of the casseroles, but the pictures are gorgeous! What a great experience *:)*
Oh, I SO know what you mean about Lizard Brain… I totally have it too. I just took a peek at your series of casserole photos, and they are superdy-duperdy fantastic. So, just tell Lizard Brain to shut.the.heck.up.
This post is so refreshingly honest – I adore it! Its so hard in the blogging world – where no-one wants to write a negative post, or bring people down in the 3 minutes they are trying to escape the trickier side of life. But life isnt ALL candyfloss and cute photos of shortbread – and you ve managed to keep your post optimistic AND real. Woops to you!!! AND your photos are great. Honest to God. xox
Thanks so much! It’s always a balancing act between staying honest and also keeping the blog upbeat
but I thought people would be able to relate.
Congrats on taking photos for the BonAppetit website! I think the photos look fantastic and the casseroles look delicious. More importantly, my husband who is in advertising and has done a fair amount of food photography also thinks they look fantastic. He thinks you have a great eye. Good work!
I’m expecting casserole on your treat day…
Thanks Mimi! And I do actually have treat duty this week! There are some leftover casseroles remnants, but I think they’re better off in the trash (for lack of freshness) than on the treat table at this point.
The kids and I wolfed down the casserole in one sitting. Then, with warm, contented tummies, we took a little nap. Thanks for making my Saturday wonderful and for another happy memory with my kids.
I truly, totally recognize this. I’m my own biggest critic and comparing never helps, it just feeds the insecurity. Thanks for sharing this story, Lindsay! But you can be so proud of the end result, I LOVE the pictures!
Thanks Denise! That darn Lizard Brain is everywhere, isn’t it?!
Oh good, I’m not the only person who is constantly freaking out?!
yay!
HA!
I totally love your honesty in this post Lindsay. My Lizard Brain makes me sweat about all kinds of things – especially when putting myself out there, in real life or the web. The sweaty palms, negative thoughts are always there. I try to remind myself of the truly important things in life and also why I do the things I am doing in the first place (because I love it!).
That said, your pictures were fantastic – you should be very proud of yourself. Not just the pictures but the feat of cooking through all that food and taking pictures/editing in one weekend! Amazing job!!
I totally agree about reminding ourselves about the important things in life. There are so many other important things in the world and I’m trying to constantly think “big picture” when it comes to this stuff!
I’ve had that lizard brain piece saved myself – such smart words. You did a FABULOUS job with the casseroles. Excellent work, Lindsay. Not one bit of doubt on my end.
That is so cool! To be asked by a national magazine? Wow! Like others have already said, your photos are amazing (this coming from a photographer myself, but not food photography yet). If I were to start, heck, I’d have to buy nicer dishes!
We did make an emergency trip to the thrift store for some new dishes. Not necessarily NICE dishes,
but we needed about 9 more casserole dishes than what I already had! 
Thanks for the nice comment!
Just wanted to say that I looked at your pictures on bonappetit.com and they look ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. Seriously, my mouth is watering. I look at a LOT of food pictures and I think you did an excellent job. Also, I’m obsessed with your blog. I discovered it a couple of months ago and I check it daily. I’m hoping to actually start one of my own someday but haven’t had the time yet…BUT when I do start it, I hope it is as beautiful, silly, and delicious as yours.
Wow. That made my night. Let me know when you start one of your own!
Hey! I resemble this post! THANK YOU for posting this as a kind reminder to all us lizard brainers to STOP IT.
Hey Lindsay, I love your honesty. That lizard brain can get pretty loud sometimes, that’s for sure. I like your tip in the Food Blogger Pro course – don’t wait until it’s perfect. I’ve been guilty of that heaps of times, and I’m starting to get it that everyone else is just as human as I am, and so long as I can be comfortable being me, whatever that is for today, things actually do turn OK. And it helps when you have other people to learn from as well