What was the best thing about the year?
Okay, what!? How am I supposed to answer that? There were so many incredible things about this year that I will always remember with happy feelings.
Like riding the motorcycle. Gosh, I loved that little thing. The traffic was horrendous, and I’m confident that my lungs are absolutely coated in exhaust from a year of sitting in traffic behind those diesel-pumping Jeepneys. But oh, what a JOY to just buzz around on that little thing. Bjork didn’t love it because he actually had to swerve around the stray dogs, weave in and out between cars, and generally focus on keeping us both alive. But I just got to sit back and enjoy the views and the hot wind in my wet hair. It was a highlight, for sure.
Another highlight: mango papaya smoothies. All of our kitchen appliances were pretty cheap being that we bought them to use for just a year, but holy blender. Somehow I bought the best blender I’ve ever owned in all my life, which perfectly complimented the world’s largest and sweetest papayas and mangoes sold by the fruit lady on our street. I’m confident that the mangoes and the papayas in the Philippines come straight from heaven. There’s no other way to explain the juicy sweetness that becomes some kind of magical creaminess when you blend it. Ughhh.
And then, the kids. Knowing and loving them, and being known and loved by them in return, and seeing miracles worked in their lives. What a privilege. And if I talk too much about that I will cry.
I have a kid highlight video that I’ll show you sometime soon, because that needs its own post.
Would you have done anything differently?
Yes. Most importantly, I would choose a quieter, more private place to live. Both Bjork and I loved the apartment we lived in and we were so grateful to everyone who helped us out by searching out different places to live, borrowing us furniture, arranging our lease all before we even arrived in Cebu. It just makes my heart mushy to think of all the people who went to all that work just to find us a home. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And to trade our experience living there would mean that we would have never met our sweet neighbors and their cute kiddos. There were truly so many joys of living in that little sauna.
But even with those things, being the semi-introverted, quiet-loving Minnesotans that we are, sometimes it was plain old stressful to live in and amongst the neighborhood chaos of the Philippines. Karaoke, dogs, roosters, parades (?), and babies crying right outside our windows were the soundtrack of the year. If I could do it again, I would choose to live farther out of the city in a community that was more private and protected from the vibrant and always-going street life.
What was the worst part of the year?
Sleep. Er, lack of sleep. From about September to March, I just didn’t sleep well. I’m sort of an anxious person to begin with, so constant dog barking and other night noises just made me crazy-jumpy and not relaxed. And when I didn’t sleep more than a few hours, everything became super dramatic, emotional, and generally unmanageable. Know what I mean? I seriously have a whole new appreciation for all you new moms and a whole new dread of ever having a baby. Mehhh.
Besides having nice raccoon eyes all the time from the lack of sleep, it was really hard not having many friends. While we made some really incredible friends in our last few months in Cebu who did fun things with us like motorcycle trips and Filipino karaoke, the first few months were sort of lonely.
Also, leaving the orphanage. I briefly considered staying just so we could avoid the tears and the goodbye with the kids.
Would you do it again?
Yes. And No. If you asked me in February to go back and do it again I don’t think I would have made it. This was a really, really hard year. Living away from your family and friends, from your familiar, is just a challenging thing. I wasn’t at my best in a lot of ways this year – physically, emotionally, socially, sleep-ially, and all that affected our year. So in that way, no. If I truly knew how hard it would be, I’m not sure I would do it again.
But on the other hand, YES! Duh. I would do it again. Knowing what I know now, the year could have been a lot more sustainable. I would have sought out friends right away. I would have forced myself to exercise more, even though it was annoying as all get out to drive for 30 minutes to get the gym. I would have been easier on myself about the blog. I went to Target this week and saw the lovely variety of ready-to-use produce and thought, how did I have a food blog in the Philippines? Good grief. It was harder than I even realized when I was doing it.
And honestly, when it’s all said and done, this year was about the 80 kids living at the orphanage who were and still are waiting for families. To think about missing all those important moments, the Christmas Eves, the birthdays, the graduations, the joy, love, and laughter? It makes it pretty easy to say yes, I would do it all over again. In a heartbeat.
What’s it like to be back at home?
It’s amazing. I sleep like a baby in our big fluffy bed, which I simply cannot get over. I love that thing. I can drink coffee again without feeling sick since it’s actually a tiny bit chilly in the morning. We can get groceries and put them in the trunk. No more balancing grocery bags on my legs while riding motorcycle through Cebu City! It’s so convenient. You can buy lettuce, TRIPLE WASHED, and eat it straight from the bag. !!! And I am so proud to say that in our stranger interactions, everyone has been so helpful and friendly. The systems, the efficiency, the resources we have… thank you, America! And our friends and family? We have laughed more in three days than we did in a month in Cebu. Hahahahahahaha! <— see? Yep.
Along with that, though, I’m continually trying to work out my love for these basic luxuries with the realities of poverty that we saw this year. That one’s going to take a while. Or the rest of my life, maybe. Our house, which I have always seen as a medium-cute fixer upper, now feels like a fancy hotel. And I don’t want that to fade because when looking at our big world, that’s reality. We have so much.
The one thought that I keep having is: nothing has changed. I mean, my friends have all had precious babies, my little brother is almost as tall as me, and there’s a new line of frozen burritos at the grocery store. But honestly, it’s shocking to me how much is still the same. We have experienced something so different and changed in a lot of ways that we probably don’t even realize, so to come back to the same house, with the same furniture in the same places, and the same broken doorknob, the same lady walking the same dog in the same park, just feels a little bit off. It feels like we should put the garbage can in a new place or rearrange the kitchen just to represent that we are not the same people who lived here before we left.
If you are curious about anything else, just because, or because you have had or will have an experience living abroad, feel free to leave your Qs in the comments! I love hearing from you all about your experiences, too!
I say it all the time, but really. Thanks for following along this year, and even now as I continue to kinda come down slowly from the experience and process everything from the other side of the ocean. U R cool.
On a food note, my sister gave me the scone recipe! Weee! Tomorrow, maybe?
I think this is really good text and images. Thank you!
I sent a quick note last night and wanted to explain my “defensive” comment. I recently came upon your blog since I am looking to vacation in Cebu when I visit my family in the Philippines. My family is from Manila and so when I read your blog and you mentioned that you didn’t have access to fresh fruit and healthy snacks and the convenience of home, I was so confused. I was born in NY but often summered in the Philippines (third world runs in my veins) so I understand that not all the convenience of US living is in your fingertips. However, I then realized you were living near conditions that over 90% of the country live in. You saw and smelled poverty first hand. For that I am in admiration of you. You experienced what many Filipinos do not even EVER see. or care to see.
I am slowly discovering your other parts of the blog that is not part of the “Cebu experience” – the vast majority do live in poverty but its not a total Philippines experience. Thank you so much for your blog. I will also be looking into the orphanage / shelter where you volunteered and will make donations. You are truly inspiring. As I mentioned, you have also planted a seed of adoption. Now to get the husband on board.
Take care
Thank you Dolores. I really appreciate that.
I recently discovered your blog and I am in love 🙂 My hubby and I want to go back to help out at orphanage in Ukraine, its a little more advanced than Philippines but still a bit scary 🙂
What made you go to Philippines? Is there a post where you share about it?
Thanks! This might be a good one!
Hi, I just found your blog and have printed off some awesome looking recipes. I am exited because I can find all the ingredients here in Manila for the Thai Chicken Salad! Ironically, we just moved from Minnesota to Manila, Philippines a month ago. We will be here for 3 years. I have 4 children and we are planning a trip to Cebu in the near future. I am interested in finding out how we could volunteer at the Children’s shelter that you worked at. I am excited to read through more of your blog!
Thanks,
Carey
What a small world! You should send me an email and we can chat more! 🙂 lindsay at pinchofyum dot com.
I’m shocked that it’s been a whole year. Even if I haven’t always commented, I’ve read all your posts and really enjoyed the here and there perspective. Things may be maddeningly the same here but you are not and you never will be again. I doubt you will ever again take for granted the incredible standard of living we all enjoy even if we’re nowhere near the ‘Jones’s” of this country. You lived an incredible adventure for a year and it will shape your behavior forever. Well done!
Your reflections are thought provoking, Lindsay. Thank you for sharing on a deeply personal level, but of course that does not surprise me!
Now that I’ve spent 1/2 hour watching your video, crying, and reading this post, I still need some inspiration as to what to make for supper tonight! ARG!
Maybe a Byerly’s salad and soup?? 🙂 Thanks for the comment Sarah!
You are beautiful writer! Here I am complaining about my sleep in a nice not too old king bed…thanks for allowing us to hear your story.
Thanks for being open to hear it!
I really really appreciate you writing your experience especially for those of us who have to live through others experiences. I don’t know if I will ever be able to travel abroad…a wish but I don’t know if it will happen. I thank God for folks like you and your hubby who do great work. Spread the word of how we need to help orphans. Spread the word for how we should appreciate the luxuries we have here in the USA…most of us do NOT value the good we have…all we do is complain! I respect and ask God to bless you both!
What a beautiful, reflective post. With the good comes the bad but I’m sure, should you return again you will have even positive experiences that are priceless. Thank you for sharing. Even in the bad experiences, we grow 🙂
Absolutely. Thank you!
Amazing. I just found your blog this morning, a link from another foodie blog because some sort of your food caught my eye. I quickly discovered your trip though and, somehow during my day here at school (I’m a teacher) have managed to read all of your trip posts. I’m in love. I can’t wait to check your blog daily. I swear I’m not stalker type, I just think I know a good thing when I see it. 🙂 I’ve fought back tears throughout the day (Im prego, let’s blame that) and wished I’d pushed myself to do something like you have done. And major kudos to your marrige. This seems like it would have been quite the test. I look forward to reading more about your American adventures. Thank you for making my day. So impressed. If you ever think you’d like to test out Upstate NY I’d totally take you as a neighbor! We have a dog, but I swear he doesn’t bark in the night…
That’s so sweet! Thank you for the nice comment. 🙂 And I do actually really like dogs…
As always, you’ve said it so beautifully, Lindsay – the ups and downs of living overseas. You also so astutely pegged the Asian blender phenomenon. My $20 blender purchased in Bangkok kicks the booty of every blender I’ve ever owned!
I know! What is the deal with that? It’s awesome! I’m going to miss that thing.
Good for you Lindsay!! I can’t even imagine living abroad for a year without seeing my family, but you always had a big smile on your face in your photos and you sounded so upbeat. It was hard to tell that you had raccoon eyes or emotional breakdowns!
I hope you continue to find joy and laughter now that you’re back in Minnesota!
I’m glad you are getting some much needed zzzzz. You did good by not bringing one of those dogs that kept you up at night ;). I do not handle change very well, and I suffer from insomnia with every transitions so I can def relate to how you must have felt… and the oh so attractive raccoon eyes. I admire y’all’s incredible strength and love for the less fortunate. I pray for those 80 children that they will find a warm, safe, and loving home soon.. that they will be showered with all the love they deserve. It is such a privilege to be an American…I became a citizen last year, and I can’t forget that moment…seeing people from all over the world come together in celebration of freedom and better opportunities…I sat next to a man from Somalia who didn’t stop waving the small American flag. I constantly remind myself of that day so I may never take things for granted…and still I do.
What an amazing experience. I get goosebumps reading about that! Thank you for sharing!
Maybe it’s these endless rainy days in Minnesota, but this post definitely made me tear up. I have felt the joy of returning to family and friends and fluffy beds and orange juice that tastes like orange juice…as well as the sorrow of leaving behind those you’ve cared for deeply as well as the exotic happiness that is fresh mangoes.
My advice? Pray. Pray every day that Jesus will not let you forget the angst of knowing poverty and knowing luxury. That he will always grow in you a heart of compassion for those in need and a distaste for material excess.
We’re glad you’re home and enjoying (most of) it! Thanks for sharing your processing!
This is just the most thoughtful and perfect comment. ♥ Dinner soon? We are excited to meet you guys!
Dinner is on! We’re excited to meet you guys as well! I’ll email you soon with our contact information so we don’t have to set this shin-dig up over comments 🙂
When I read your post I felt like I’m there beside you and we’re having this conversation. So heartfelt.
Ahhh yes, you will need a few deep breaths in the coming days, months, just getting back to “your” normal.
It’s such a wonderful thing what the both of you have done this past year.
Your words are always so heartfelt. Don’t know if I wrote that right, but that’s what my head says. ha
Take care you two.
Thank you Joan. That means a lot!
Such a wonderful post. When I stumbled upon your blog re. mango smoothies, I had no idea that you are (now were) in the Philippines (my country of birth).
I came back to read your ‘About’ section to find out more about you. I admire what you and your husband did for the orphans in my country. I even want to personally thank you. 🙂
If you didn’t live there and did all those, I probably would have dismissed your blog and say ‘Oh, it’s just another one of those food blogs.’ But yours is NOT. Keep it up and welcome back to Minnesota. 🙂
Ha! Thanks! 🙂 we sure are hoping that we can go back someday. It’s really a special place to us.
what a beautiful experience for you guys and thanks for summarizing for all of us
My favourite post on Pinch of Yum! Being an immigrant myself it’s always interesting to hear other people’s experiences on living abroad. Especially North Americans. Yes, we have it ALL in America and still I’m always amazed with the amount of people “depressed” and unhappy. We have it all, guys! We are beyond blessed!!! Welcome home Lindsay and enjoy your sleep! LOL . Before babies come. LOL. That was funny.
Hahahah! So true about the sleep. I’m totally soaking it up!
Wow, it’s crazy that your already back and all cozy at home! Thanks for sharing your wonderful journey with us!!! 😉
What a wonderful post. I only found your blog recently, but will be going back and reading more. I also know what you mean about “nothing has changed.” I’ve been through a couple of life-changing experiences myself and have been surprised on some level that I was even recognizable to others. Not that my appearance had really changed – or not that much. I just felt so different that surely I looked different? Anyway, best wishes on getting used to home again.
Thank you Ann!
What a beautiful post! You do such a good job expressing what you are going through. I can’t imagine the mixture of emotions that you have been going through the past few days. And those kids. . .your pictures get me every time!
It is apparent in this candid visualization of your time in Cebu that you gained much and grew more. While there, you made an ever lasting impression and left it in the hearts of those you touched. Well done.
Your post reminded me of the time when our daughter returned from a YWAM DTS, where she spent 8 months between Germany, Egypt, and Nepal. It was hard, exhilarating, exhausting, and life changing for her — a piece of her heart remains there. We read the book Re-Entry just before she returned and she read it too. It helped us all. It can be tricky weaving a life changing experience into moving forward with life. Give yourself grace and time.
It is obvious you made a real difference in the lives of those sweet faces. Well done.
I have never heard of that book. I’ll have to check it out.
I did a (short) mission trip last summer and one of the things that really hit me hard when I got back home was how amazing my house is. My house with its stained carpet, broken fence, leaky faucets, and noisy ceiling fans is a luxury in this world. My house is not large or fancy by American standards, but after meeting families that live in one room homes smaller than my bathroom….well, it just has a way of putting life into perspective.
Thank you for sharing your story. For me it has been a great reminder of what’s really important in life.
Yes. Thank you Misty. That’s exactly how I feel, too, broken faucets and everything.