This post is part of a ten-post series I’m sharing about the life and loss of our son, Afton. Click here to read more of Afton’s story.
We didn’t have a name picked out yet. Since the beginning, our baby name wishlist had been sort of high-maintenance: I wanted a nature-inspired name, bonus if it ended with an “n.” Bjork wanted a short name with a Scandinavian feel. 😌 We’re “those” people.
The day before Afton was born, Bjork’s parents came to visit us in the hospital. I was coming in and out of sleep, and they sat talking quietly in the chairs next to my hospital bed. Their conversation shifted to poetry and music, and in my hazy state of mind I heard Bjork say something about Nickel Creek and the song “Sweet Afton.” I’m not saying this to be dramatic – I honestly felt like a little bolt of lightning zapped me. I snapped wide awake. Afton. With Bjork and his parents still talking about poetry, I grabbed my phone and started googling.
Afton: a river in Scotland, for my nature theme.
Afton: a Swedish word that means afternoon or evening, for Bjork’s Scandinavian feel.
Afton: a name ending with an “n,” for my weird enjoyment of names ending with “n”.
And “Sweet Afton”, one of our favorite songs.
I started crying.
Bjork looked at me, mid-conversation, and asked me if I was okay. Yes, I said. Yes, I’m okay.
That night, we talked about the name. It felt so right. “Let’s sleep on it,” we said. And then things took a fast turn – we went from bedrest to emergency c-section at just 23 weeks and 3 days. We still hadn’t picked our baby’s name.
The room emptied to give us a minute alone before the surgery, and Bjork and I could hardly see each other through our tears. We were about to meet our son, but it was way too early. Lung development, long term health complications, survival… the weight of it all was suffocating. We stayed quiet, holding hands. And then, in the silence: “Afton?” Bjork said gently. “Afton.” I said back.
Sweet Afton is called a hymn for peace, and it’s so fitting. We played this song during Afton’s birth, through his last moments on earth as we held him close, and once more as we laid him to rest in peace forever.
Flow gently, my sweet Afton. 💙 You are so loved.
Very Informative
How beautiful
I’d never heard the song before and am listening to it now. BEAUTIFUL!! It will always remind me of YOUR sweet baby Afton. What a tribute to your boy.
I am just discovering your amazing blog, and the posts about losing sweet Afton. Though a year later, I had to reach out and let you know that my heart and prayers are with your family and the angel Afton. You both are amazingly strong and pure for sharing such a part of your life, and know that you have forever touched my life and so many others with the openness of yours.
I just listened to this song while reading this post. Never heard of it before, but it is absolutely beautiful and the meaning that went into it, just stunning.
I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant and reading these posts just feels like my heart is being pulled out of my chest. Thank you for penning this story, even though it must have hurt terribly.
My first baby was born last year, six weeks premature and my mother passed away the day my daughter was supposed to be born. It took me until this year to actually take action, but I joined a counselling group called Griefshare. I’m sure you will find some solace through them, if you like…
I love the story and the meaning of Afton’s name. So Precious!
What a beautiful name story! Perfect! Divinely led. You have a true heart of love!
This is so beautiful and moving. Thank you for sharing these precious moments. I am coming back daily to get updates of precious Afton. Sending you both love, warmth and prayers.
I’m a teacher that makes occasional visits to your site for healthy recipe ideas. I’ve always appreciated your love of life and it’s your personality that keeps me coming back. So…when I came here today after not having updated in a while, I was devastated to see this news. AS a complete stranger, I’m heartbroken for you and your husband and wish you strength and peace in the coming days.
Beautiful, and the perfect name. You loved him so well in his short time here. God Bless you and Bjork.
“Sweet Afton” such a beautiful song for your beautiful baby boy. My tears are mingled with yours. God Bless you all!
Each of these entries has consistently made me cry. They are so raw and touching and devastating all at once. After hearing this story, the name Afton sounds simply perfect.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. There is so much love out here in the wide world for all three of you, and I hope the writing process helps you heal.
Sending all my love and support from Germany,
Danielle
Just beautiful….Thank you for sharing
Lindsay, you are so special. I cried when I read the post of Afton’s passing, and reading these amazing pieces brings tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing this intense time in your life. You are bringing so much comfort to your fans who care so much about you.
Today I saw that you have been commenting on posts below. Wow! May G-d continue to give you strength and help you heal.
Thank you for including us in your life. Love and blessings from Los Angeles.
Thank you for sharing this love story. Sending lots of love and light from Santa Monica.
Thank you so much for sharing these very private moments with us.
Lindsay & Bjork–
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your precious son, Afton. Sending you love & wishing you peace from Philadelphia.
I had never heard the song, but just finished listening as I raised a prayer for you and your sweet Afton. Yes, the perfect name. I loved reading about how this name for your son came to you.
There is a gorgeous Minnesota Park on the St. Croix River call Afton State Park. It’s what I immediately thought of when I heard the beautiful name of your sweet son! I lost my twin sons when they were born at 22 weeks almost 14 years ago and my heart breaks for your loss. I wish you comfort and peace as you go through this.
Im sorry for your loss. There are really no words.
I’d really like to speak with you about them.
Your writing touches my soul. The depth of your grief is palpable. You express your grief in such a beautiful way. May you continue to find comfort in your writings ad in the love of your families. God bless you.
Lindsay, saying thank you for sharing your stories about sweet Afton doesn’t feel like the right thing to say, but I’m not sure how to phrase what I want to say. I am honored that you are sharing your love and your pain with us readers. You are deeply touching my heart, and I hope that this sharing provides you some comfort. Many many prayers and blessings to you and Bjork and family.
Thank you Maria. ♡
I’ve been think of that song since you’ve started posting of your Afton. What a beautiful song to help heal, remember, mourn, and love.
This story touches my spirit so deeply. I too believe in forever families and know you will see your sweet Afton again someday.
This made my hair stand on end. Astonishing, beautiful story.
Lindsay and Bjork – Afton Mountain is also the name of a special mountain that is part of the Blue Ridge mountain range in Virginia. The history of the mountain and area is rich and thought provoking. It is an incredibly beautiful and spiritual place. I am so sorry for your loss.
Amazing. I am going to look it up. Thank you so much for sharing Jakie.