Well, hi, friends! It’s the end of August (sob) and we meet again! ❤️
Today is a coffee date day, and since my life is almost all things baby right now, I think it makes sense for this to be an all-things-baby post. If you want to dive into that rabbit hole with me, you are in the right place.
Drinks of choice? Lately I’ve been mildly obsessed with coconut water and MEGA obsessed with lemonade. We’ve also had a few cooler weather days (WHAT! NOT READY!) and today it rained and I made a hot decaf coffee in the middle of the afternoon, jazzed up with half and half, agave, and – wait for it – a tiny pinch of salt. And it was all kinds of perfect. I know you don’t even believe me right now with the salt, but it’s so good. Try it and report back.
Grab your teas and coffees – iced or hot – and let’s do this.
Due Date
One of the most common questions people ask is: could you please take more selfies in public bathrooms?
Just kidding. It’s: when is your due date? And that’s a fair question! But it’s also kind of complicated.
Technically, our due date is in early October. In reality, we will be delivering this baby in mid-September.
Because of how premature Afton was and all that happened during that time, we’ve known all along that a normal, non-surgical, 40-week delivery wasn’t going to happen with any future pregnancies. I don’t mean that we opted out – I mean that our high risk OB doctors said multiple times: under no circumstances is that a possibility for you.
So we’ll have an early c-section in mid-September, and even though it’s maybe not a first-choice type scenario, we are in the camp now where we consider having a living child to be the highest order of first-choice type scenario.
So the question of “when is your due date” is always kind of tricky to answer, but there you have it! We’ll call it mid-September. Our fall baby.
Thank you for your respect by not offering medical advice on this topic.
Nursery Tour
Oooh, exciting! Except guess what? We don’t quite have a nursery! Hahaha.
We have a bassinet upstairs in our bedroom, and a changing table in my office. So she’s kinda got two half-nurseries. Does that count?
She’ll sleep in our room for a while, but to be honest, I don’t know what we’re going to do for sleeping arrangements after the first few months. We have a 1.5 story house – master bedroom upstairs, and regular bedrooms downstairs. And it’s really hard for me to imagine myself sleeping upstairs while she sleeps ALLLLL the way downstairs.
So… stay tuned on that. Maybe it’s time to consider moving. Building? Camping! Totally camping.
Do any of you have a baby sleeping on a different floor of the house? How’s that working for you?
Favorite Stuff
Keep in mind, this is stuff that we’ve purchased that I already love… without having an actual baby to test it out with. So we’ll plan a coffee date in a few months when I can give an actual recommendation for the real-world usage of these items.
WRBWB = Will Report Back With Baby!
we paid for all of these products! I’ve included affiliate links to the products on Amazon below!
1 – Snoo
In other words, we officially drank the Kool-aid. This electronicamajig bassinet plays white noise and gently jiggles the baby while she sleeps. It also responds to noise (like, a cry) with increasing levels of white noise and jiggles with the idea that it might be enough to comfort her back to sleep. After a minute or two of crying, it shuts off so you can take care of whatever baby needs. It is absolutely the most gorgeous bassinet I’ve ever seen, a complete splurge, and likely to bring out people’s opinions. Parents either swear by it or think it’s totally ridiculous. But we’re planning to try it, and I’m not gonna lie – I’m kind of excited. WRBWB!
2 – Crib
We almost didn’t get a crib! I literally just ordered it last week. We obviously would have bought one eventually, but a) we have the Snoo for now, and b) we don’t know where this little girl is going to be sleeping yet (our room? upstairs? downstairs? we don’t have the ideal modern family all-bedrooms-on-one-floor set up) and I didn’t want to buy a crib without knowing where we’d put it. But then I panicked and was like, WE NEED HER TO HAVE A CRIB. So we bought this mini crib which is perfect for our small house and hopefully can fit in a number of places in our house, giving us the flexibility to set her up wherever it feels right when the time comes.
3 – Glider
You guys, I spent 900 years picking out a glider. I finally found one at Pottery Barn. I bought it. And then, because I am a complete flake about these things, I changed my mind. I called 10+ times to return it.
So I spent 900 more years picking a new one. I sat in at least 5,000 gliders. I finally found the one. I went to order it. I discovered that it was out of stock.
I went to a new store and said: I need a glider, like, now. And she said: We just got this floor model yesterday. If you like it, you can buy it.
Done. Sold. I bought a floor model glider. I don’t even know what brand it is. It’s comfy and looks decently decent. Goodbye.
4 – bouncer
Um, this is adorable. I saw it on Joanna Gaines’ Instagram and bought immediately. It is a thing of BEAUTY. It may or may not be practical but TBH it is working quite nicely as a pregnancy foot rest for me right now.
5 – Niche Nursing Pillow
I have nothing against the more commonly beloved Boppy, but I set one of these Niche pillows on my lap while testing gliders and fell in love. It feels a little heavier, and it’s shaped a little more square-like, so it gives more surface area on my lap, which I kind of like. WRBWB.
6 – Dresser / Changing Table
We got a super cute and long-term usable dresser from West Elm. If we never used it as a changing table, that’d be fine with me. I’d take this as a dresser any day. It’s so cute and it fits well in small bedrooms. Win win!
7 – Hatch Changing Pad
Hatch! It looks nice, it’s wipe-down-able, but also, most notably, it’s some kind of fancy baby scale that syncs to your phone via Bluetooth so you can be one of THOSE moms! Cool!
8 – Bumgenius Freetime Diapers
I am TBD on cloth diapering, okay? But I did buy a few Bumgenius Freetime cloth diapers to try it out, because they seem so idiot-proof that even I might be able to swing it. They are an all-in-one, meaning you don’t have any covers or liners to separate – you just wash the whole thing. That sounds about right.
Any clother diaperers among us? Feel free to leave your advices!
9 – Uppababy Vista Stroller
I can’t even tell you how many times I went back and forth on the stroller decision. In the end, a recommendation from a friend pushed me over the edge and we got the UppaBaby Vista with the Mesa carseat. To be honest, I am very, very nervous about the fact that it doesn’t have a cupholder. Yes – of all the things I could be worried about, I have chosen to direct my energies towards the cupholder. This is like the Rolls Royce of strollers – why does it not have a cupholder?!?! But the ride seems smooth, and the leather handle is kind of beautiful to hold on to, and it snaps in and out with a bassinet, carseat, and toddler seat like no problem. WRBWB.
10 – Mori sleepers
I bought a few sleepers from this company in the UK, because Instagram ads work on me, okay? And they are so soft and so adorable and so understated in design, and I could not love them more. There are a decent number of snaps on them, so maybe that’s a bad idea? but again, WRBWB.
What’s your favorite baby stuff? Books, gear, clothes, nursing supplies, carriers, diaper bags, etc.?
Links and recommendations welcome! I can’t wait to hear!
Maternity Photos
Maternity photos! Are they worth it? Or not worth it? Or just plain weird?
We had a team photo shoot a few months ago, and the lovely Gina, who took our photos, offered to sneak a few extras of Bjork and I in so that we could get some early bump shots! So we have a few already from about 20-ish weeks. But I’m kind of wondering if I should take another round of photos now that it’s getting closer to the end… or if I should just let it be and stick with the photos on my phone. I’ve been pretty on the ball about taking weekly bump pictures so we definitely have a few to look back on, but I also wonder if I’ll regret not having more “official” photos of me/Bjork/Sage/baby before she is born.
What do you guys think? Did you take maternity photos? Are you glad you did or didn’t?
Anxiety Management
A) As mentioned, bouncer as a foot rest. Just normal stuff over here.
B) Not surprisingly, this pregnancy has been an anxious one. I wrote a lot about my pregnancy with Afton here on the blog (first trimester, second trimester, fourth trimester) but I’ve had a much harder time doing the same for this pregnancy because I’m so worried that something will go wrong. Even now, at 34 weeks, I worry. My first and last waking thought every day is about her movements – are there enough of them? does she feel okay? is she still alive?
So yes, I’ve been anxious. Here are some of the things that have helped me with my anxiety during these last eight months.
- Counseling. I have a counselor that I’ve been seeing for a few years now and she’s wonderful and it’s really helpful to process through all my emotions and behaviors and patterns of thinking with someone who knows what she’s talking about.
- Support groups. I have gone to a bi-weekly group for the last 20+ months. Like, almost two years. We have a group at our hospital that is for pregnancy and infant loss, and another group that is for pregnancy after loss. I have gone to both.
- Loss Mom Friends. I met a group of friends through another loss group, and we text each other and get together regularly. They just get it.
- No Googling. Right now, for me, medical Googling is a HARD NO. Bjork can Google for me, or I can call my doctor. Those are my two options. I broke this rule last week and it sent me into an anxiety tailspin and I ended up in the hospital “just to make sure” three times in five days. HARD NO, Linds. Hard no.
- Supportive Medical Team. My doctors and nurses know our history, and if they don’t, I try to tell them right away. They are understanding and encourage us to come in anytime, even if it seems silly. Which it usually does, and nonetheless, we usually do.
- Relying on Facts. When things seem really bad, I have to ask myself, “What are the facts?” And usually the actual facts are not as bad as the worst case scenario that has taken hold in my brain. A follow up to this is the reminder that THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS. Just because you think it doesn’t mean that it’s real.
What do you do to keep anxiety in check, pregnancy-related or otherwise?
Thinking About Afton
We did a hospital tour (private, at the recommendation of the support group leader), and as soon as the nursing care coordinator walked us into the postpartum room, both Bjork and I started immediately swallowing back tears. Being back in a hospital room felt like touching a raw nerve.
I remember this, my brain said.
I remember that menu that I ordered oatmeal from that morning. That white board where they wrote our baby’s name. The kitchenette fridge that held the food that I couldn’t ever bring myself to eat. The monitors that showed our baby moving for the last time. Even being at a different hospital, in a different room, it brought us right back. And it was really, really sad.
It’s important for me to tell you that I don’t feel sad all the time. I feel so much less fragile than I was a year ago. And I am so, so excited to meet this baby girl.
But there’s no separating the emotions of losing our first and gaining our second. His story is part of hers, and hers is part of his. Our goal is to let that be okay – to remove “should” from our vocabulary and just let this new chapter be what it is, whether that’s sad, or happy, or a little of both.
Maternity Leave
(This picture implies that this is what I’ll be doing on maternity leave, and, uh, NOT SO MUCH, but I just needed you to have this photo for obvious reasons.)
I mentioned this briefly on the last coffee date, but it’s probably worth mentioning again: I’m taking a maternity leave when the baby is born!
Here’s the plan:
- I’ll be taking 12 weeks off, starting mid-September.
- You’ll be seeing some scheduled content going out during that time, so the blog won’t be completely quiet, but it also won’t be the same as normal. And that’s okay! The blog is a living, breathing thing to me. There is a flow to it that reflects its authenticity – some high intensity seasons, and some slower paced ones. This will be a season to focus on recovery, self care, and family care.
- I’ll be back in January! Well, technically December, but I’ll be getting stuff ready for Sugar Free January. You’ll probably start to see things pick back up just in time for 2019.
I am planning to let you guys know with a post here on the blog when baby makes her arrival, and you can always follow along on my personal Instagram account which is @lindsaymostrom.
And of course, you should definitely be following the @pinchofyum Instagram account which will have plenty of juicy, delicious content going out all throughout my maternity leave!
Now, a word from a random dog in Minneapolis, who I happened to spot on my way home from the studio the other day.
He wants you to know that YOU GOT THIS. You should not be bothered by anything in the world right now – just look at him and learn his ways. That frustrating thing / person / event / situation? Let it go. Take a ride and Let. It. All. Go. And maybe stop at McDonald’s on your way home from work, and hang both arms out of your car window, and then get yourself a chocolate shake with whipped cream on top. Like, why are they so good. WHY. HOW. Or maybe some questions are best left unanswered.
Sage will be back in the future with more words of wisdom, but, uh, for this month she is very busy napping? Okay? So thanks for your understanding.
Reminder: I love your comments. When it comes to comment etiquette for something as personal as baby-related things, a good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: How would I say this in person, face to face? Is this comment conversational in nature, or more of a personal critique? Do I have a personal story or experience I can share that adds value rather than offering unsolicited advice?
As always, thank you for your conversational, personal, interesting, and thoughtful comments! These posts (and your comments!) are some of my favorite. ♡
I would love a follow up post! Not sure if you ever did one (I didn’t see it when I searched) but I would love to know your thoughts on some of the bigger purchases now that you’ve used them (and maybe even outgrown them?). Thanks!
I am late to reading this post and have since seen on Instagram that your baby girl has been born. CONGRATS! So happy for you!
I just had to check in again….and read this update one more time.
Sending you love and hugs in the last weeks of your pregnancy. Afton and this precious girl are forever, beautifully connected…I have 3 babies in heaven watching over my 2 on earth…looking forward to “meeting” your new little one.
Congrats on your sweet Solvi! Just wanted to say hi and yea for cloth diapers. We use(d) Grovia and they were so slick! And then baby two came and I got lazy about 7 months in 😂 so we mainly are back to disposables, but that’s the beauty of it all- do what works for you.
Hi
You mentioned sleepers with lots of snaps…I’ve found that if there wasn’t enough snaps that our babes would tuck into a fetal position and then manage to stick a foot out between snaps. Or, I would still manage to snap them up “wrong”. If any sleeper was too baggy my son would tuck up then manage to get both legs into one leg of the sleeper. We found zippered sleepers ROCKED for speedy changes – especially appreciated in the middle of the night! Wishing you smooth sailing as you welcome this baby girl into the world.
I just had to check in again….and read this update one more time.
I am praying so hard that you are doing well…and by now, the date is close!
We have been through all of it too. You will find you feel you are a better mom, a more appreciative mom and maybe even a bit more over protective mom. And all of these are just fine!
You have got this! And more importantly, God has this!
Now I will just wait for baby pics!
We used the bumgenius freetime with our first for 27 months, until we had our second, and LOVED them. They are super easy and think of all the money you’re saving! With our second, we never could get the fit quite right, with lots of leaks and honestly, we were just SO tired from 2 kids, that we gave up.
First off, congrats on your upcoming babe!!! We also have a weird split level with bedrooms on different levels. Even though we had a nursery set up, our son eventually ended up in our room for the first couple of years. I think everyone should take a “let’s see how it goes” mentality instead of the “let’s decorate an entire room for a tiny human who won’t even appreciate it” approach that the baby magazines shove down our throats. You are doing exactly what I’d do on the second go around. SO much stuff that people buy is not even needed or used. Want to know why all that baby gear at the second hand shop looks brand new? Because it was rarely used in the first place!
I am late to reading this post and have since seen on Instagram that your baby girl has been born. CONGRATS! So happy for you!
About the sleeping arrangement. I have a friend who sleeps downstairs and her 8 month old baby now sleeps upstairs. She thought it would be hard at first but now she’s fine with it. She also has a video baby monitor to keep a good eye on her. Hope that helps and congrats again! 🙂
She is here! Just thrilled for you and love this last update. I’m a fellow mama who has lost a baby and I’ve been following you closely the last few years and am just thrilled for your growing family.
May I please ask the brand of that rainbow romper? I need to get my hands on one!
So excited for all things baby!
I had a hard pregnancy, so while I can’t fully empathize with your journey to the same level, I can definitely say “I feel you, girl!” to anxiety and lots of ups and downs during pregnancy.
I also did So! Much! Research! on baby gear and while most of it doesn’t matter that much, I do have strong opinions about two things:
1) Cloth diapers are wonderful. Good for the planet, good for your kid, good all ’round. Is it more work? YUP. Is it worth it for the money you save, the diapers not thrown into a landfill, and the cutest ever cloth diaper bums scooting around the house? ALSO YUP. Be bold and go for it!
2) Snaps are for chumps. I had all kinds of cute snappy things and quickly realized that fiddling around with snaps in the middle of the night when your nips are sore and your kid is screaming is just…not a good time. We are a zippers-only household. Some may laugh, but we, the snapless, are just a lot less frustrated in the general “dressing the baby” department.
Wishing you so much peace and happiness for these next few weeks!
Hilary
Love the pictures and thank-you for the update ^_^.
On whether you should or shouldn’t take more professional maternity photos I say you probably wouldn’t regret taking them so go ahead and get more if that’s what you want :). Who’s not going to like cute maternity photos? (especially with added cute puppy :D). I wish you guys a safe and uneventful pregnancy filled with love and joy and funny/sweet stories to tell when you look back on the day!!
I’m so excited for you to hold your sweet baby girl! We had our second sleep in our room longer than we planned – mainly because we were renovating our basement to add a bedroom to our two bedroom house. The first three months were great. I could hear her breathing and snoozing through the night and she slept through us coming in and out of the room. By six months (you know how renos go….) she woke to EVERYTHING! My husband leaving early for work, getting dressed in the room: it felt like we could barely breath in there without her waking up. The transition to sleeping TWO FLOORS AWAY was tough for the first week. I checked the monitor constantly and didn’t sleep much. But she slept so much better without us bothering her all the time and was sleeping through the night in two weeks.
You’ll figure out the sleeping arrangements!
Hi! I love reading your posts, recipes, and following along on Instagram! I never slept on a different level of my house than my baby….but I have experimented with different sleep setups. The one that was maybe the weirdest but the maybe also the best, was for me to sleep on my couch in my living room with the bassinet (sometimes rock n play) right next to me. We set up the pack n play bassinet as a changing table in the corner. The living room was near the kitchen, the bathroom, and once we put the changing table and bassinet there we had everything. This was especially easy because after my c-section, they said I couldn’t climb stairs for some crazy amount of time (which i ended up doing), but still….I found I wanted to have everything I needed in a pretty small area that didn’t involve stairs and was close to the kitchen 🙂
Also, no medical advice, just encouragement! Even though a surgical delivery isn’t necessarily your first choice type of scenario (I think that’s how you described it) – you’ve got this and you are going to do great! I had all kinds of weird emotions (mainly towards my body) after my first c-section, but I kept coming back to ultimately being really thankful that someone invented this type of surgery, because without it neither my daughter nor I would probably be alive. (not implying you should have any sort of feelings, just sharing my own story – still helps to talk about it sometimes)
Just… Sending you love!! <3
Thinking about you both Lindsay and Bjork. Many mid-September prayers and blessings❣️
So excited for your family! I have an upstairs master too – babies slept in a crib next to our bed until they were night-weaned and started sleeping through the night (8-10 months). Then we moved baby downstairs (with a video monitor), and it has worked fine!
We also LOVE freetime diapers! The sprayer for your toilet is a must when baby starts eating solids.
You got this, cheering you on 🙂
I had 3 cesarean sections and 3 healthy babies who bonded with us well. Yes, you are caring for a newborn child and healing from surgery, so no ideal, but it can be done. You got this! A support belt and then corset helped support my core as it healed.
We borrowed a lot of baby equipment from friends. Other than our crib, we didn’t have much that we bought. We changed diapers on a bed or the floor for the most part. That worked best for us; some parents want new stuff and I understand that. All 3 babies were in our room for 6-12 months. A nursery is not necessarily needed right away. Again, this worked for us.
I’m so excited for you guys. What a blessed time as you greet this little lady and also keep Afton front in mind and heart too. All the best. Enjoy the maternity leave.
Prayers and positive vibes to all of you ❤️ Such an exciting, beautiful time 😊😊😊
So excited for you! Prayers and positive vibes to all of you ❤️
Hi Lindsay,
So excited for you and laughing because new moms and dads think that the nursery must be perfect before baby arrives as if no store will be open after that day. Relax. Once you start to know your baby and her particular needs, then you might want something else as a crib, bed, chair, etc. It’s all flexible. Honest! Love you both and can’t wait to hear if the arrival has taken place.
You. Are. Adorable. And I absolutely adore you. My relationship with Pinch of Yum started when I was looking for a pancit recipe. I found it and it was great! Then I stumbled upon your story about Afton. I read everything you posted. I cried a million tears for you. I found the song “Sweet Afton” on You Tube, and cried some more. It’s the sweetest song. I still listen to it. There is still a feeling of sadness attached to it, but in a peaceful way somehow. I was over the top excited for you when you announced your pregnancy, and prayed cause I knew it would be hard for you not to worry. I continue to pray for you all and can’t wait to meet sweet Aftons sister. You guys are going to be awesome parents. Love the bump pictures, you look amazing! ❤❤❤❤
I’m so happy you are in this place of happy excitement. Truly you have been on my mind and in my thoughts since you lost Afton. I’ve been waiting for you to have a happy new chapter.
My favorite baby product is the Owlet baby monitor. I haven’t had a loss but I suffer from horrible postpartum anxiety and obsessive fears about SIDS, and I just white-knuckled it with my first two babies but (in addition to getting on medication to actually deal with my crazy) I got an Owlet for this here third baby and it’s helped IMMENSELY.
The uppababy was totally worth it. As far as the cup holder sitch goes, I completely understand. I bought an add-on cupholder bag…thing. From Amazon. It does the trick.