This is an update from Lindsay and Bjork on their sweet baby boy. Please continue to keep them in your thoughts and prayers, and thank you to all of you who are lifting them up in this time. – Jenna
Introducing our perfect baby, Afton Bjork Ostrom, who was born on December 31, 2016, and who left this world peacefully, laying skin-to-skin in the arms of his mommy and daddy, surrounded by pure love in the early morning hours of January 1, 2017.
In the midst of our deep sorrow, we are so full of awe and wonder for having experienced just a tiny taste of his precious sweetness this side of heaven. The moment they placed him skin-to-skin on my chest, something inside of me locked into place. I felt his tiny heart beating right over mine, and in an instant, I knew I loved him more than life. It was deep and wide and otherworldly. In our short time, we fell in love with being his parents. We touched all his fingers and toes, we kissed his sweet, perfect face, and we whispered I-love-you’s into his tiny little ears so he could hear and know our voices as we held him and let him go.
These moments we had with sweet Afton are also making the ache of losing him all the more crushing. We got just a taste, but we so badly wanted a lifetime of this perfect love. It’s a depth of loss that I’ve never known – where something so tangibly a part of you is suddenly gone. You can feel that searing emptiness burning a hole right there in your own body. Afton has left his forever mark on us, and it’s our honor to wear that deep scar as the evidence that he was here and he was loved. We’ll carry that ache with us for the rest of our lives until we meet him again someday.
You’re forever perfect and forever loved, baby boy. We’ll always, always, always be your mommy and daddy, and you’ll always be our sweet Afton
During this time, several of you have asked if there’s an organization or cause that would be best to give to in Afton’s name. Here’s a quick note from Lindsay and Bjork for where to give if you feel led. Click here to reach the donation page:
This experience has given us a profound appreciation for the meaning of family. We know that there are many others, both here and around the world, whose families have also been broken by tragedy.
We hope to honor Afton’s memory by pouring into the lives of hurting children who don’t have families of their own to care for them. Bjork and I lived and worked at the Children’s Shelter of Cebu orphanage for one year and saw firsthand the loving and lifesaving ways that children are cared for in times when they are most vulnerable.
Thank you for being a family to these children with us, and for doing so in memory of our precious son Afton.
Bjork, Lindsay and Afton
Until now I did not think that anyone could possibly even partially understand what I have been through.
You shared so much of your pain. You did not share the terrible things people say after the loss of a child “It was for the best” , “It was meant to be” and, worst of all, “there must have been something wrong”.
I know people are only trying to comfort you during a time of unimaginable loss, and yet, these comments hurt more than anyone who has not made this journey can imagine.
Today, people do not know how to respond to loss, especially the loss of a chid.
The medical community isn’t much better. For example, while I lay in bed hoping and praying that my twin babies would survive, one of my nurses told me all about how she was decorating her nursery for her newly expected baby in green.
In contrast, your partner seems to be loving, kind, and equally affected grief.
My partner was distant, judgemental, and self focussed.
No surprise our relationship ended in divorce.
If there is a gift to be found in any of this pain, it is to be found in our deep love for the child who, everything willing, will follow. We know how deeply important it is not to take anything for granted.
I am deeply sorry for your loss, and am so happy for the gift of your beautiful daughter.
Love to both of you.
God bless you and your loved ones. I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words to express my deepest sympathy for your loss. I know it is a loss that never stops hurting. But I am honored to know you. Hugs, love and prayers. ❤️ 💕 ❤️ 🙏🙏
Brave sharing of this intimate moment of loss so deep. Weeping as I write that you will hold each other again, his little hand wrapped around yours, your hearts beating together. You are loved!
I just read your post on holiday survival just now and this was my first time hearing about Afton. I am so very sorry your loss.
A.F.T.O.N.
A-dorable Baby Boy
F-ighter to the End
T-ogether in a Protective Bubble of Love
O-odles of Cuddles
N-ever Forget You are Forever Loved!
❤️ Kitty
Just now reading your story and feeling such strong familiarity. I lost my first son at 23w4d. Hazy with fever and infection, I only got to hold him a few minutes. So small, he couldn’t be intubated and only lived about an hour. I know your pain and even 3 years later, your story brings tears to my eyes as I remember those moments and my pain. Cherish your memories even if they hurt. Your son was loved; he felt your love. That’s important to remember. Even though I went on to have another child, I will always remember who made me a mommy first. Sending you a big hug, one angel mommy to another.
I was so very sad to hear of the loss of your son. May God provide peace and comfort to you and Bjork in the coming days, weeks, months and years.
Dear Lindsay and Bjork I just read your blog and looked at all the beautiful family photos af you together with Afton. Thank you for being so sharing and loving and open. Love, peace happiness and hope for always for all of your family from me and mine 💞
As a parent I cannot start to understand what you have been through and are still going through. You are incredibly brave for speaking so openly and my prayers are with you.
As a mom of a preemie, this hit especially close to home. I’m so in awe of your love, reflection, strength, honesty and raw feelings during this time. In honor of Afton, we made our favorite Pinch of Yum recipe last night, the soft chocolate chip cookies. They came out perfect – just like your beautiful baby boy. Your family will be in our thoughts always, and thank you for being so brave to share your story with the world.
I’ve just read all of your posts about your sweet little boy and have tears on my cheeks. I’m so so sorry to hear about your loss. One thing I kept thinking as I read your story is how lucky your little Afton was to have you and Bjork to call Mom and Dad. It was obvious that you did everything you could to make his short time here on earth special. Sending love to all of you.
it’s a bit late, but maybe it’s not too late. i’ve been following your story- not too long ago and never knew what to say. i miscarried early on, and that felt so big that i couldn’t imagine how you were still standing. but miraculously, you are and you keep standing and breathing and doing all the things, you and your husband and i just wanted to say how brave i believe you to be and how you continue to inspire, wearing your (broken)heart on your sleeve with sweet little afton’s heart tucked safe inside your own. we are strangers, but i love you and admire you as a woman, a mother, and a human. thank you and may you keep finding little beams of light in the darkness.
Lindsay,
I’ve been reading every post and following you on Instagram, as well. I’m so sad for you and Bjork.
I truly believe that Sweet Baby Afton is with you at all times. It is so hard for us to understand how these thing happen, but please know that he is with you. And so many people near and far are with you — thinking of you, praying for you.
One day at a time…one step at a time.
Peace,
Kathy
So very sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you both and hope you’ve found some solace in your family and friends. In my thoughts and prayers
Oh my gosh, I just read about your loss. Though, we don’t know each other, my heart sank when I just read about your son. My heart aches for you.
I am sending my prayers to both of you and for the soul of the little baby boy.
I feel your pain.
My heart felt condolences.
You only know me by my name as I was in your waiting list.
What a sad story, I hope the parents feel better about this painful loss.
So much love to you and yours. You are all in my prayers.
I’m just seeing this now, as I went to your blog to look for some new recipes. My heart aches for you and your family. Sending hugs and lots of love your way.
I am so very sorry to hear you lost your baby boy. As a mother myself I truly feel your pain. Sending massive amounts of love from Munich, Germany. S xxx
Dear Lindsay and Bjork, my sincere condolences on the loss of your baby Afton. Your story broke my heart. May God give you both strength and faith to overcome this painful experience! Warmest regards.
I’m a 35 year old guy from Ukraine. Sitting in the office and crying like a little boy after reading the above. I feel so sorry for you guys… I’ll be praying for Afton.
I am deeply and truly sorry for your loss. I hope that (if it is what you want) you will be blessed with a rainbow baby.
Prayers lifted for your broken hearts.
So very sorry to hear that you lost your baby. My deepest sympathies.
I am in tears and so profoundly sorry for your loss.