Well, well, well.
It’s a new month, and we meet again!
This started as the January Coffee Date, but then got pushed back and pushed back because of all the amazing Sugar Free January recipes, and then it became February, and so this turned into the February coffee date, but what the heck! The month doesn’t even matter when it involves a cozy moment to get your warm drink on, pull that sweater a little tighter around yourself, maybe find some snacks (not to be a broken record but MAY I SUGGEST THESE), and settle in for a good talk.
Today we are talking about:
- Sugar Free January (which is done! way to go!)
- My opinions of Daily Harvest
- Solvi’s schedule
- My fave (non-toxic) perfume
- Grief and friendship
Yep, should be good. Here we go!
Sugar Free January Recap
Sugar Free January! It’s done! We did it!
GREAT JOB YOU GUYS!
Some thoughts I had this year:
- I was flexible, but maybe a little too flexible. I made a refined sugar free cookie recipe at one point, but then I just ended up eating a bunch of the cookie dough and a bunch of the cookies. It really didn’t feel like it was doing me any favors even though it was “refined sugar free.” (This is one example of several.) I think I’ll try to be more strict about just saying no to desserts across the board next year – including refined sugar free desserts.
- I need to be better prepared with snacks. Especially now that we have Solvi! The days would get busy and all of a sudden I’d find myself super hungry and in need of a snack IMMEDIATELY, and it was always really nice when I had a bag of energy bites in the fridge prepped and ready to go.
- I wish I would have spent 2-3 hours prepping a bunch of stuff (snacks, IP freezer meals, etc.) at the end of December. To be honest, the end of December was Stress Level 100 for us this year. Bjork was sick, then I was sick, Solvi was teething, nursing was a wreck, and it was the anniversary of Afton’s death. So this year it just didn’t happen. But next year I’d like to try to make that prep time a priority so I don’t feel so scrambley when January starts.
- My favorite Sugar Free January recipes this year: Lemon Chicken Soup, Lentil Greek Salad, Instant Pot Sweet Potato Tortilla Soup, and Roasted Vegetable Bowls with Green Tahini (pictured above)!
Any SFJ-ers out there this year? What were your favorite recipes? What was the hardest part for you?
Also: I’d love for you to take our survey if you have feedback for next year!
Daily Harvest
Have you guys seen / heard of / tried Daily Harvest?
The ads worked on me (as did a recommendation from a friend), so I decided to give it a go this month. We ordered a bunch of smoothies – like, 24, I think? We did the one month deal.
Here are my thoughts.
The Good:
- Super healthy.
- Super convenient.
- Ingredient variety that I don’t normally get at home (dragon fruit, lychee, acai, pea protein, green coffee, that kind of stuff).
- Beautifully designed packaging.
- Not overly sweet – I often even add a bit of honey but I like that I can control the sweetness.
The Bad:
- Shipping and individual packaging. Not great for the earth.
- 2 serving per cup, but I don’t really want to keep the smoothies in the fridge for later, so I rarely end up eating the whole thing.
- Only a few flavors have really gotten me super excited. Chocolate avocado being one of them. Otherwise they kind of just feel like… smoothies? And maybe I’m doing it wrong but I can’t quite get them to blend up like I want. They’re always a little icy.
I’m curious your opinions if you’ve tried it (or really, if you’ve tried similar meal or snack delivery services).
Solvi’s Schedule
OKAY WHOSE BIG BABY IS THIS! 😭
I started talking about Solvi’s sleep schedule on my personal Instagram a few weeks after she was born, and I’ve had a lot of people asking me to share sleep updates! I am right there with you – personally I find it so fascinating to hear about what other families are doing when it comes to baby sleep and schedules. What’s working, what’s not, all that jazz.
So here’s a quick look at our scheduling approach for the Queen Vi.
- Wake Windows – Her whole schedule is structured around three things: a wake up time (~7am), a bed time (~7pm), and wake windows. A wake window is basically an ideal amount of time BETWEEN naps, and we use it as our benchmark for when to put her down again. One of my favorite quotes from Taking Cara Babies is: “Remember, she’s a human, not a clock.” Even though I’d really prefer to have her nap times be super strict every day (nap at 10am, nap at 1pm, etc.), we have had to leave some room for flexibility aka those pesky short naps. So instead of a rigid schedule, we build her day around wake windows. Right now (4.5 months, 3.5 months adjusted) she can handle about 1 hour and 45 minutes of awake time between naps.
- EASY: Eat, Awake, Sleep, You Time – We try to follow this order in her day. First thing after a nap: Eat. Then play. Then back to sleep. And then mom and/or dad get a little time to reset. It doesn’t always work out because sometimes her naps are short, or she needs to eat earlier or later in the day. But we have found this to be the ideal structure and try to prioritize this order during the day.
- Taking Cara Babies – This is hands-down my favorite resource for baby scheduling and sleep. I took the newborn class and read the 3 and 4 month ebook. I like structure, and I like routine, but at first glance, I found some of the more popular structure-and-routine resources (Babywise, Moms on Call, 12 Hours by 12 Weeks) to be lacking in the softness and flexibility that knew I want to have as a mom. Cara’s approach is both structured AND gentle, scheduled AND flexible. The strategies she teaches are nurturing and responsive, and her tone is so encouraging for new moms. The Taking Cara Babies Instagram account is excellent if you’re just looking for tips and tricks on naps, night sleep, etc.
Here’s what our daily schedule looks like (and right now we are dealing with short afternoon naps which is very less than ideal)!
- 5am – Eat (then back to sleep!)
- 7:30 – Wake Up, Eat, Awake Time
- 9:00 – Nap 1
- 11:00 – Eat, Awake Time
- 12:30 – Nap 2
- 2:00 – Eat, Awake Time
- 3:45 – Nap 3
- 5 – Eat, Awake
- 6:30 – Bedtime Routine (hopefully asleep by 7)
A few clarifiers:
A) She very rarely follows this exactly! Lots of 40 minute naps lately have majorly thrown us off any sort of predictable schedule.
B) She sleeps through the night most nights, minus that 5am feeding.
C) She sleeps in our room, in a crib, for naps and nights.
D) She is breastfed, but we give her a bottle (breastmilk) before bed, which started out of sheer desperation because she was very fussy when nursing at night, and now has become a nice little routine that allows me flexibility in the evening.
I would LOVE your thoughts on this! What’s worked for you? What hasn’t? Anyone else fighting the good fight against short naps? 😅#please
My Fave Nontoxic Perfume
You guys, I haven’t worn perfume for literally years because of the whole “fragrance is the new secondhand smoke” thing.
But. I found this fragrance line at Target and I LOVE IT.
It’s affordable, yummy, and appears to be relatively clean! It’s vegan, paraben-free, and fragrance-d with essential oils. Here’s more on that.
I have two scents – the Queen Bee (in a roller ball thingy), and Wild Child (in a spray). Highly recommend.
When The Hard Times Come
On a more serious note, it has been a devastating week for one of my closest friends. If we were on a real coffee date, I’d probably get tears in my eyes telling you about everything that has happened.
Some things that have helped me as I sit with my own sadness and also try to support my friend:
- This video on what it means to have empathy. Profound.
- This video on what it means to live with grief. The idea that our lives grow and heal around our grief is so important.
- This post that I wrote after we lost Afton about what to do when your friend loses a baby. Because I’m learning that even when you’ve been through it, it’s still really hard to know what to do.
- This website that has all kinds of resources specifically for baby loss. The most useful things at the moment are the free guides for planning a memorial service.
- This illustration that beautifully outlines ways to support a grieving friend.
Oh, and by the way. This month Sage says…
Sage. SAGE. Over here please?
I don’t know, she’s too busy watching birds and leaves and snow blow around the backyard. Which is maybe her lesson in and of itself? Let’s get lost in the little things like leaves and snow and birds this month.
And if you were wondering if she’ll be your Valentine, the answer is heck to the yes.
That’s it! (Says the person who just wrote 90 million words.)
Talk to me! How’s your winter going?
And if no one has told you lately, you’re doing a great job. ♡
Hi Lindsay!
I just wanted to pass by and tell you that I have been reading you for years now and you have been such a companion and inspiration for me. Thank you for doing what you do but especially for being who you are. All my support and love!
Vanessa
Little Solvi is just a doll. So beautiful. Thanks for sharing her with us!
I also wanted you to know that I saw you featured in one of my lady’s magazines very recently. I know I still have the copy but I’ve forgotten which one featured you! Big time! Congratulations! It was either Better Homes, Allrecipes, Family Circle or Southern Living. Very cool indeed.
My (almost) 6 month-old is named Violet and I call her Vi too 🙂
She went from being a terrible napper to a decent napper to a bad one again… and this week JUST started taking naps that were longer than 30 minutes! I was doing a flexible routine too but oddly enough once I started being a tad more rigid the naps started to get better… but idk if it was because of the slightly more rigid schedule lol. Enjoy time with your Vi 🙂
I’m so with you on Daily Harvest! I found them to be gritty and well, that just wasn’t what I wanted from a smoothie. It’s a fun idea but really, it’s not that hard to blend your own and make smoothie packs for the freezer.
“And if no one has told you lately, you’re doing a great job. ♡”
Thanks so much, Lindsay. I needed to hear that.
I feel you with the short naps! My 4.5 month old takes 20 min naps. He gets so tired but won’t sleep! It’s terribly annoying. Then he’s ready for bed at 5 pm but still has 2 hrs to go – come on, dude. Wish I had some advice for you, but take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone!
You live in Minnesota correct? Have you tried D’ Avacado made by a new company in Minnesota. A young couple who started it are friends of mine and it is healthy and yummy! Greg and Jennie D’Allesendro are the owners and it just launched last fall. I mention it because you said you liked the avocado chocolate flavored smoothie. Also 31 years ago my 2nd baby was stillborn at 29 weeks and you sharing your experience about Aston was a gift to me. Marit had a condition that was incapatable with life but her short life changed me forever. Thanks for your beautiful blog!
I do live in Minnesota and I have never heard of them – I’ll have to look them up! I so appreciate you sharing about Marit. Beautiful name. ❤️
“And if no one has told you lately, you’re doing a great job. ♡”
Such as small thing, but it really meant the world to me today and reminds me of the impact of kindness 🙂
❤️!
YES YES YES to the Good Chemistry perfumes! I have the Queen Bee and have gotten so many compliments on it!
Solvi is so beautiful. I love that she carries a piece of her brother in her name.
❤️
Love your picture of your baby. Adorable. Just a word of comfort. I had five babies and none of them were the same about anything! The only thing easier was that I knew how to diaper a baby like a champ, could recognize hunger cries, and could nap along with baby. Give yourself a break. A 4 month old baby does nap fitfully, but a six month old baby is on more of a schedule. Just as their schedule seems wonderfully predictable, they give up their nap. lol It’s a journey that is wonderful, awful and thrilling all at the same time. ha ha.
Nice grabbing coffee with ya! Or in my case matcha! You are so right, as a mom of two little ones, I’m always fascinated by other babies schedules and esp other working mamas schedule! Hope your transition back to work is fun and successful. 🙂
We nap trained (cry it out — made rules on when we’d go in to soothe and lengthened it each day) at 4.5 months and it worked really well! Lennon typically woke at that 40min mark and this got her sleeping through it. Once she knew how to sleep past the first sleep cycle, it was obvious when she was just UP with a short nap some days. But even when she knew how to sleep through, we’d always give her a little time if she woke up at the 40min mark to see if she’d go back to sleep.
We are doing a modified version of this right now. Come onnnnn longer naps! 🙂
What a lovely child you have! Thank you for sharing that photo with us! My 4th child just turned 17 months this week. Wow, that was fast! I gotta say, I always thought the whole sleep schedule/structure thing was a bit of a joke. Like, how is a system translatable to all families/babies? Some of my kids had a really nice pattern, some didn’t. It didn’t seem to be correlated in any way to things I did (and, by baby #4, trust me, we were a pretty darn structured family with 2 kids in school, 2 home, and 2 FT working adults, plus all that other stuff that goes on). I do think that the schedule/sleep thing was hardest with with #1, for me, as the Mom (and new to breastfeeding). The one thing we changed by the time we got to baby #4 was that my husband is completely in charge of bedtime for the baby and other kids. I help some, but I’m pretty much mush by the end of the day, and he actually likes it. All our babies went to sleep better for him. I also go to sleep as early as possible now (b/c I’m up with a kid a couple times a week – usually not a baby – sickness, bed wetting, nightmares, etc., etc). At this point, I view MY sleep schedule as the most important in the house, and that is in my top 3 daily priorities. It’s so interesting how my focus shifted over the last 6 years! It sounds selfish, but the saying is true, “if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
Oh man. This is so good. Thank you!
I always dread/dreaded the “how is he sleeping?” question—probably because the answer for us for so long was, “he’s not.” 😭 Babies are all so different…it is amazing that you’re getting such long stretches at night! As much as we liked the idea of structured naps, it just didn’t work for us, and now at almost two it’s still a WIDE window of when (and some days, if) he’ll go down. Teeth are the devil and the enemy of all sleep. I’d say if you have the flexibility in your life to continue with the wake window concept, just go with how she operates. Letting babies do their natural thing as much as our lives allow is really beneficial for them I think. It was often so frustrating but already looking back I wouldn’t change that. Awesome job mama!
Hi Lindsay, thanks so much for sharing your journey with us. Being a mom is such a unique experience at every level. With my first child I worried about sleep A LOT. Monitoring awake windows and nap lengths. If I didn’t think he had napped long enough I would walk him back to sleep. I read online about how long his naps should be at certain ages and how many hours of sleep he should be getting total and I worried my head off about sleep! With my second I thought about her sleep for about zero seconds – lol. She napped when she was tired and woke up when she was done napping. It will all work out in the end, I think 🙂 Good luck to you!
LOL. This is me exactly. Type A first timer!
Hi, Lindsay,
I rarely comment but I’ve been reading the blog for a few years. I enjoy and make so many of the recipes you post here, but I truly enjoy the Coffee Date posts. I wanted to comment on this one in particular because of the grief resources you shared. My mom passed away in December of 2017 and my father sadly passed away last week. During these times, we look to the little things to uplift us, along with the comfort of friends and family. Your blog so often to me feels like having a conversation with a good girlfriend. So, I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me a little bit of joy and comfort during this difficult time. Thank you for your recipes and photos and tips. Your posts are a delight.
P.S. I have to admit I’m an avid perfume wearer, but I am trying to look into less toxic options, so I’m excited to check out the Target ones you listed.
This made me cry real tears. Because this is why I write these posts. After we lost Afton, I realized how profoundly important those little joys were to me, and that’s what motivates me in my work now – recipes, coffee dates, all of it, and the hope that it can be someone else’s little joy. Sending you lots of love. I’m so sorry about your dad’s passing.
Wow. Thank you for sharing this. This past weekend I miscarried my 4th little one. I had not read your previous post before, but I am so grateful for it. I also have my hope in Jesus, but you summed it up perfectly, that sometimes our faith community puts all of the focus on hope and not enough on truly grieving the loss. I know God has a reason, but right now things just hurt.
I’m so sorry Olyvia. 💔What a difficult time. Sending you so much love.
Naps are so hard! I HIGHLY recommend checking out Huckleberry (it’s an app) to track sleep. It gives you (for free) a recommeded ‘sweet spot’ for the next nap based on how many naps per day. I’ve been using it for my son since he was about 3 months old (9 months now). AND. IT. IS. SPOT. ON. almost every time (unless he’s sick).
Okay, that sounds amazing. Researching now.
Funny… I have wildchild and queen bee also.. At Christmas they had a mini rollerball called firecracker. Target just got one in called musc. Smells amazing…cute pics Lindsay
What a sweet post this is! So nostalgic for me to read and remember the days of wanting to have a schedule for my babies…who are now 14 (almost 15) and 12. I followed Babywise (the others you mentioned I didn’t know about yet) and found the structure appealing but in retrospect, I wish I had snuggled with them more….there is nothing like that squishy baby in your arms! It sounds cliche but the time really does go by fast, so continue to enjoy that sweet baby and snuggle with her! She looks so happy and content, you can tell when a baby feels secure and Solvi surely does. So keep up the good work, both you & Bjork!
Very soon she should be going to one long nap a day, which will help a lot 😊
This is wonderful and so sweet to read. I’m going to go home and snuggle my squisher!!
The photo of you and your daughter is so precious
My son’s schedule was pretty much the same at that age. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I’m missing out on stuff for putting him to bed so early and for basically doing dinner twice since I typically don’t eat that early but it’s absolutely amazing to have the evenings to ourselves since he’s still not old enough to entertain himself (he’s 20 months now). The short naps will eventually get longer. You’re doing great mama!!
Thank you for posting about the Daily Harvest smoothies, I have a lot of the same feelings about them. But they are really convenient 😉
We have a 7 month old that isn’t the best sleeper and love Taking Cara Babies, great to read what you guys are doing with Solvi! Thanks for posting the link in this post for the cookie dough energy bites, they are my favorite and I needed a reminder to make another batch! 🙂
Love the way you are living and grieving and sharing your own experience of loss and what kind of support you needed as you comfort and support your friend. I do not believe in the theology that lends itself to you losing someone and that leading to a purpose. I don’t believe the almighty toys with humans that way. I do believe that we all go through hard and terrible things and can choose how to move forward through them and choose to stand in the gap for others.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sweet Lady Wife and I watched the Christopher Robin movie. Lesson learned: Make time to spend time in your own 100 Acre Wood. even if it is a metaphorical one.
I need to see this movie.